You Make Life Worth Living
by starraiser
Summary: This is a Ruin fanfiction, not the movie but the book. This is a short story about Mathias experiences and his point of view of the events.


Okay this is my first Ruin fanfiction so if there are any lovers out there please read. This is a songfic. When I was reading this book this song came on and it made the book that much more wonderful so I'm going to try it on fanfiction. Anyone wants the song it is by Cranberries and is called Dreams. Its a really pretty song. I recommend you listen to it while reading it.

* * *

_Oh, my life is changing everyday_

_Oh, my life is changing everyday  
In every possible way._

Mathias always thought Stacy was breathtaking. From the moment he first saw her he fall for her. She was just so easygoing, so full of happiness, of life. And so when he saw that she was drunk he took advantage of that and he felt guilty about doing so but he doesn't regret it.

_And oh, my dreams, it's never quite as it seems,  
Never quite as it seems._

When he found out that his brother went on a dig and left him to note to go he found himself smiling. His first thought was about showing Stacy the ruin, a ruin that no one has ever found before, he figured it will be romantic, and she deserves to go to romantic places, she deserves to be loved, she deserves to get whatever she needs. So he invites them all, talking to Jeff and Amy about it, telling them about how his brother will miss his flight and he has to go get him and bring him back. And although Amy didn't look happy Mathias didn't care, all he cared about was Jeff's answer. He smiles when he says yes.

_I know I've felt like this before, but now I'm feeling it even more,  
Because it came from you._

He remembers when Stacy's sunglasses and hat was stolen, how upset she was, and no one seemed to care. And Mathias was mad about that, mad that not even her own boyfriend turned to help her. And so Mathius was the one, the one who was there to help her. And even though it was too late to find her stolen objects, he still gave her sympathy and that was all that was needed. And he thought about buying her sunglasses or about buying her a hat but he never got the chance, the bus arrived too soon.

_And then I open up and see the person falling here is me,  
A different way to be._

He watched her from the corner of his eye as she stumbles and nearly falls on the trail as they tried to find the entrance way to the ruins. He saw her frightened look as the group kept moving not stopping to let her catch up. He knows what she is thinking, she is afraid that they will lose her, that she will be lost and alone in this vast moist, hot forest. But she was never in any danger; he would have stopped, and will stop if she needs somebody.

_I want more impossible to ignore,  
Impossible to ignore._

The Mayans didn't look happy about them finding the ruins; Mathias looked over his shoulder at Pablo who was yelling at them something in Greek. He heard the loud clicks of Amy's camera as she backs up to get everyone in the picture and Mathias wants to yell at her to stop, to stand still. Everyone needs to just stay where they are but Amy kept stepping back until she stepped into some plants and the Mayan's expressions changed. They looked furious, yelling at them, and even though no one speaks Mayan it didn't matter they know what they said. Go up the hill or die, it's as simple as that. So he made sure everyone was going up the hill, made sure Stacy was going up the hill before he starts. But his mind wasn't just on her safety but of his brother or the lack of his brother, and fear sits in as he calls for his brother, begging for him.

_And they'll come true, impossible not to do,  
Impossible not to do._

His brother is died, Pablo fall down the shaft, breaking his back, Eric leg is injured, and it has been probably only a couple of hours since they came here. And Mathias tried to stay positive, had to stay positive, right? Jeff needs him to be tough, Stacy and Amy needs someone who can protect them. Eric needs someone to calm him down. But he is losing hope fast but can't tell anyone as he looks down at the Mayans again before looking back only to find Stacy, red faced, looking at the Mayans. Her afraid and confused face made him even more saddened and before he could stop himself he whispers, "It's going to be okay." But she didn't hear him as she already goes back to check on Eric, her boyfriend, and Mathias kicks at the dirt and looks back down at the Mayans.

_And now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don't hurt me.  
You're what I couldn't find._

Mathias looks at Stacy as they make the decision to cut Pablo's legs off, with Eric in the background screaming about the vines still within him even though they just pulled it out only a hour ago. He saw the look of disgust on her face as she looks once again at Pablo as Jeff says once again that he can't feel anything. And Stacy even though she agreed only did so because they agreed. And Mathias didn't want her to see this, didn't want her to witness the horror so he sends her away to relieve Amy. And he is the one who has to help Jeff even though he, himself, doesn't want to.

_A totally amazing mind, so understanding and so kind;  
You're everything to me._

Mathias was the one who found Amy suffocated from the vines and he couldn't believe it. He wants to know how, how did the vine suffocate her, and why. Why her, she had so much to live for? And suddenly he is pushed out of the way by Jeff who tried foolishly to bring her back to the living. And suddenly Stacy was there, big eyed and shocked and Eric once again yelling from inside the tent but no one moves, and suddenly a minute passes and he runs in the tent to help Stacy's boyfriend while she holds her friend's dead hands, hurt and shock illustrated in her face and he couldn't watch it anymore. He had to be kept busy, couldn't watch her anymore.

_Oh, my life,_

Alone Mathias and Stacy sat next to each other, Pablo was still struggling on surprisingly, and Eric was asleep in the tent again. And just thinking Mathias knows Eric is in bad shape, all the deep cuts, all the pus, and Stacy was losing hope; he can see it in her posture. The way she slumps now, the way her head is hanging low, and he knows she is about ready to give up and he tries to find a way to stop it from happening. But too much was on his mind Jeff is somewhere and he should probably find him but he could see that she wants him to stay with her. And suddenly he feels like he is staring at a mere child, terrified and hungry, and he had to resist putting his hands around her, had to resist the urge to kiss her, to cradle her. But he can't, and he won't. It will be unfair to Eric and she doesn't need a boyfriend, she needs a friend, nothing more. Still he wants to tell her that he loves her, wants to kiss those sad lips, not to kiss her trouble away. And he takes one look at her, at her breast hanging out of her blouse, a sexual urge builds inside him again, but suddenly it was gone. Sex and relationships is nothing on this hill, it was just about survival now.

_Oh, my life,  
Is changing every day,  
In every possible way._

Eric was trying to cut himself again. Things went to shit. Pablo finally died thanks to the vines; Jeff too was killed by the Mayans from making a stupid attempt to run. Stacy was crying for Eric to stop again, crying for everything to stop, crying because there was nothing else to do. And Mathius looks from Eric to Stacy. He knows she loves Eric, that she needs Eric to stay strong, and he knows he can't let him die. He jumps trying to take the knife from Eric but Eric in panic accidentally stabbed him with him, right between the ribcages. And suddenly he finds himself falling and Eric stands above him stunned, and Stacy was screaming again, her voice shaky and she screams his name. And he looks up at her, looks up at her beautiful face, red and blistery from sunburn. He looked at her breast teasing him from her ripped shirt. He saw her tears falling down and landing on him, landing in his mouth, and he favors her tears as if it was a kiss.

_I know I've felt like this before, but now I'm feeling it even more,  
Because it came from you._

He remembers the first time he saw her. She was wearing this little dress that barely covered anything wearing matching hats with Amy who both were smiling and laughing. He remembers her skin, smooth and wonderful, full of health. He remembers them offering him some drinks as they introduce them to their boyfriends. And her innocence drove him crazy as she talks about life and want she expects from it and she only excepted wonderful things.

_And then I open up and see the person falling here is me,  
A different way to be._

Now as he struggles to breathe he is happy that she will be his last sight in life. He tried to take her picture in his mind, trying to capture her beauty. Her greasy hair and blistery body didn't mark her beauty down to him because he always goes more for personality. And he can fill the vines wrapping around his legs and she was trying to drag him away screaming for Eric to help her and I took the time to appreciate her skinny fingers wrapped around my wrists, her breathe next to my ear, making me tingle. And I wonder in another life could this have turned out different, can we have been together, can we not have decided to go? But it doesn't matter now, he can feel his body getting colder, her hands no longer solid to him and he felt tears as he tried to say something, "Ich liebte Sie immer Stacy." And then her hands were slipping as she struggles to keep pulling him and it was just a matter of time before she can't anymore. And suddenly it happened as she falls to the ground screaming again as he is being dragged away from her and her beauty and he watched as Eric pulled her to him, his face ripe with guilt. And with my last grasp of life I yelled to him, "Ich liebte Sie immer Stacy. Lassen Sie sie nicht hier sterben." And he closed his eyes still hearing Stacy crying and Eric muttering sorry. And there is nothing he can do to make them feel better, nothing at all. And finally he lets himself get carried to his tomb, his body cold with defeat, and his last vision of life was still on Stacy and Eric holding on together. And he smiled.

_And oh, my dreams,  
It's never quite as it seems,  
'Cause you're a dream to me,  
Dream to me._

* * *

Done. What do you think? You can be honest.

Ich liebte Sie immer Stacy is I have always loved you Stacy.

Ich liebte Sie immer Stacy. Lassen Sie sie nicht hier sterben is take care of Stacy. Don't let her die here.

I was thinking of doing a songfic for every character but I'm not sure so write back if you think that is a good idea or not.


End file.
